Perfection

I don't know about the rest of humanity, but I know that reaching perfection in character, performance, duty, righteousness, holiness, self-image, social appearances has always been a stronghold for me. I have always had this "failure-like" mentality, that no matter how hard I tried or how good I did in something, sure enough, I would turn around and fall, fail or disappoint myself in some way or another.
I have realized lately that the world is not mad at me... *tears*... wow, that hit deep to type that out... I will type that again, The World is Not Mad at Me... wow... for some, that is simple, for me, that is a Huge new way of thinking, an amazing realization, a newfound freedom to simply BE... you see, my dad is an alcoholic and all my life from before I left my mother's womb, he has yelled and yelled and yelled and yelled... in his world, everyone, and I mean everyone is wrong and he was sure to let us know it again and again and again... he was always filled with such anger and rage at my mom, his parents (this is where those roots of hurt lie), the whole world around him was the target of his anger, anger that came from years of hurt and pain that he never dealt with as a child, a teenager, a young adult... and even now... he has had these wounds festering such bitterness, hatred and anger and it spewed out on us, his sweet children. I know he loved us, but we were there and the stress that was upon him from not learning how to love and to be loved just came out on us... we were always scared, well, more like completely terrified of what he might do to us or our mom... He was just always mad... this is so heavy and I don't think I can write further on this now... but I do want to write that:
God has been working in my heart in a big way lately and has taught me on a much deeper level that:
It is on Christ the solid Rock we stand - all other ground is sinking sand. If we stand on the rock of ourselves, we are sure to sink!
I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST, who strengthens me - my fleshly nature will always be such, and will always be mortal, thus, the "THROUGH CHRIST" part of this verse... He gets all the Glory!
The bottom line is, I have jumped off of the roller-coaster of ME and am OKAY knowing that... I, in and of myself, will never be "perfect" in the human sense of the word and it is ONLY in Christ and through Christ that I stand! WOOH! Sweet Freedom! No more striving towards the impossible!
Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."